[Okay, as much as he dislikes nigga technology, he managed to figure out how to switch between different functions]

Can't believe it, now it's raining fuckin' cookies!

[The camera focuses on a piece of paper]

A pleasant surprise is in store for you.

Yeah, right, I'll believe that when I see it. Everybody knows these little pieces of paper in the crappy cookies are a buncha bullshit.

[ETA: He got curious and opened another cookie]

Be wary of some future aquaintances.